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Berkeley Walnut Creek East Bay Marriage/Family Therapist - Joan Gold

Licensed Berkeley Walnut Creek East Bay Marriage & Family Therapist

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Building Self Esteem

Here is a compilation of techniques to help build self-esteem; they can be helpful to refer to throughout the day to keep you positive and engaged in feeling good about yourself.

These techniques all ask you to start developing the ability to notice your thoughts and feelings as you are having them, in itself a helpful technique called mindfulness.  Mindfulness allows you to start managing your reality, rather than being overwhelmed by it.

  1. Stop comparing your insides to other people’s outsides. If you find yourself stuck, refocus your attention on gratitude for what you have and who you are.  If you can’t think of anything, call a friend and ask them to remind you.
  2. Pay attention to how you talk about yourself.
  3. Practice thinking and saying positive things about yourself to yourself like you would to a good friend.
  4. If someone pays you a compliment, no matter how you feel, say thank you. Stop defending against the positive energy that wants to come into your life.
  5. Identify your core negative beliefs, then use books/therapy/friends to actively challenge them.
  6. Spend regular time with positive, supportive people.
  7. Avoid or set limits around exposure to negative people.
  8. Acknowledge your positive qualities and things you are good at. Place reminders where you can easily see them.
  9. Do something helpful and kind for someone else.
  10. Find something each day, however small, that you can enjoy and look forward to.
  11. Set yourself a small challenge you can realistically achieve. Tell someone about it and allow them to join you in being proud.
  12. Up your self-care by practicing H.A.L.T. Recognize when you are too Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired to continue whatever you are doing and simply stop.
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April 7, 2019 By Joan Gold

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Joan Gold, MFT

East Bay Holistic Therapy
Ph. 510.418.2387
email
Mailing Address:
1271 Washington Avenue
Suite 919
San Leandro CA 94577

Articles

Self-Soothing for Shame Attacks or Other Activated States

April 7, 2019

Healing Shame

July 3, 2016

Managing a Shame Attack

July 3, 2016

Getting the Most From Couples Therapy

July 4, 2013

Addiction & The Family: Financial Insecurity

June 21, 2011

Helpful Links

  • Calm Clinic
  • Center for Nonviolent Communication
  • Claudia Black On Recovery
  • For the Little Ones
  • Self-Compassion Website
  • Tara Brach Guided Meditations
  • The Alice Miller Website
  • The Velveteen Rabitt

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Joan Gold, MFT

Joan Gold is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (MFT #47108) specializing in  healing shame, addictions, trauma, relationships, creativity and personal growth.

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Contact Joan Gold at 510.418.2387 or email

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